


Can't fight this feeling

by ohthatwoman



Category: Major Crimes (TV)
Genre: F/F, Lesbian Character, Lesbian Sex, Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-31
Updated: 2020-11-25
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:34:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,842
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27311239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohthatwoman/pseuds/ohthatwoman
Summary: After 4 years of not seeing each other, an encounter in a bar changes everything for them. Will Brenda go to D.C or will she stay?
Relationships: Brenda Leigh Johnson/Sharon Raydor
Comments: 11
Kudos: 12





	1. Difficult case

**Author's Note:**

> this fic I posted it on Fanfiction long time ago, I'm reposting here, I want to finish writing it and I'm changing some things too. Rating may change

It was 5am when she received a phone call, she at least had some sleep, is hard to get up from the cozy bed though, lately sleep is not even an option to escape from her worries, is dark and she can't find her cellphone, she remembers that last night she was too tired to even change so she just laid down in bed and fall asleep, finally she finds her purse and after a few rings, her phone

"Captain Raydor" her voice was sleepy and low,

"sorry to interrupt your sweet dreams Captain but we got a case and it doesn't look good" said L. Provenza on the other side of the phone

"text me the address please Lieutenant, I'll be there as soon as possible" this was definitely going to be another long day without sleeping and not only because of the case, the Captain wasn't sleeping that much since Stroh had escaped, she didn't let anyone see how worried she was about her son and her own life being in danger, sometimes she woke up in the middle of the night with very unpleasant dreams of Stroh, weeks ago she had decided to put the case file out of her sight and was starting to let Rusty do his own things without people looking after him but that didn't mean her worries were less.

She got to the crime scene 20 minutes later after the call "what do we have?" She asked while entering the house

"Triple homicide, one in the kitchen and two in the main bedroom, male in the kitchen whom I presume is the father, upstairs is the wife and a girl of 12, for what I see the suspect kills the man first then the wife and it looks like it wasn't expecting the girl to show up, but here is the worst thing Captain…" but before he could said anything

"The worst? What is it?" she asked

"I'm afraid there's a baby missing, here are some pictures of the family and there are no tracks of the little boy" Provenza said handing a photograph "he is about 1 year old, I really can't tell"

"Thank you Lieutenant, do we know the names of the members of this family?" she remembered the first case she had when she joined this team, she didn't know the name of the victim and Flynn had reproached her that, since then she made sure she knew every victim's name.

"The mother is Helena, the daughter's Linda and the fellow here is Jason and the missing baby is Luke" Sykes answered reading the notes she had in her notepad "the parents own a company named after their last names Makensie & Williams, a chemical company…"

"Hey Captain" they heard Flynn scream from upstairs "I think you need to see this"

They all go upstairs to find a standing paralyze Flynn in the door of what seam the baby's room

"What is it Lieutenant?" Sharon asked desperate

He only pointed at the wall and could barely speak "there"

No one said a word for a few minutes, they were paralyze and couldn't believe what they were seeing, *I'm always looking* was writing with blood in a wall of the boy's room.

"What…" Sharon tried to find the words to speak but couldn't find the right ones

"We can't jump to any conclusions Captain" Provenza said trying to keep her focus "we know he escaped and he wouldn't risk being caught that easily, maybe this means something else…" he couldn't find the right words to tell her that everything was going to be okay, that maybe it was just a coincidence or it wasn't related to Stroh at all, she wanted to believe so, "you are right Lieutenant, what else do we know?" she asks trying to hold back tears and worries.

"Nothing much, the Medical Examiner says that the victims were attacked with a knife, several wounds and the time of death is approximate 2am and one of the cars register on the father's name is missing too, so maybe the killer took it too"

"Do we know who made the 911 call?"

"No ma'am, it was an anonymous call from a disposable cellphone, so we don't know…" Julio said

"So the person who did this wanted us to find the crime scene, but why? Why risk that? And why take also a car that can be tracked?" there are too many questions unanswered. For a moment she thought about the car missing, maybe it was him, after all he had sent a young boy to kill Rusty and he took the cars of his victims but changed the plaques, still she had to keep focus and find that baby that was missing, she could only think in Rusty.

"Ok, Lieutenant Provenza please work in any lead that this might be him, look up who visited him in prison or who kept contact with him while he was still in prison in the last months" she said trying not to even put a name to that person that haunts her in her dreams "Tao and Sykes please see if there were some people fired from their company in the past year that didn't take it so well, we can't let this be just about him and erase any other possible suspect" they just node and headed outside "Lieutenant" she said turning to Flynn "please come with me to the morgue"

The ride back to the station was hard, she tried to keep her mind clear about any bad thought, what if it was really him? What did this mean? It was about 8am when she headed to the morgue with Flynn, she needed answers.

"Dr. what do we have?"

"Well, this is going to sound strange…" he started saying and was instantly cut off by Sharon "please no more strange things, what is it?" she said desperately

"Ok Captain, let me talk please" he said trying to say what was on his mind

"Sorry, please continue" she said rolling her eyes

"Ok, let's see, so far the three victims have several knife wounds, this buddy here was stabbed in the back 3 times, it took long for him to die, he bleed to death, I would say that the killer heard noise upstairs and couldn't risk it so the killer couldn't keep on stabbing him, then it goes with the lady, she was grabbed from behind and the killer stabs her in the chest 2 time" he takes a break to breathe "now the girl, the killer suffocates her and what is odd is that the killer didn't have to stab her with the knife, she was already dead"

"Maybe he wanted to make sure…"

"Perhaps, yes, I still don't know what kind of knife the killer used, but this I can say to you, the killer you are looking for, is a woman"

"Why would you say that?" Flynn asks

"Well the wounds on the victims were done with not so much of strength, but is just a theory that I need more time to prove"

"Ok thanks Dr. let us know what else comes up and when you know what kind of knife was used" she said before heading to her office, Andy following behind.

"Captain" Flynn call her approaching to her

"Yes Lieutenant?"

"What Dr. Morales said, is a good sign…" he wanted her to feel better "if the killer is a woman that message there could mean something else…"

"Yes, it could mean many things but I won't be in peace until I know…" she was going to get all personal, but stopped before saying something else "I won't be in peace until we find this killer" and with that she left to her office.

She was in her office thinking every possible scenario if the killer was Stroh or related somehow to him, she wanted to look outside to be useful, to find him once and for all so the nightmares would stop, she needed to find that missing baby, she couldn't bear the thought that he might be near but they didn't have much, only a message that turned everything upside down. She stayed like that for a few minutes, it felt like hours until her thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door.

"Captain, we might have a lead" said Tao opening the door

She instantly jumped off her chair and went with him to his desk. "What do we have?"

"Well, the company is really big so they have about 500 employees, in the past 5 months they fired 20" Sykes said looking at the Captain to be sure she was listening, she got a node from the brunette and continued "we got the reasons why they got fired and all of them found jobs except for 3 that were fired about 2 weeks ago for making a bad delivery to a client or something like that and the company lost a lot of money for that"

"Sykes go with Julio to visit them and check what they were doing last night, Tao please see if you can find anything in that 911 call" she then approached to Provenza and ask if he had found anything interesting about Stroh, all leaded to nothing and that didn't help at all, she node and was about to head to her office when Flynn called her "Captain, we traced the car they found it abandoned in the road, a guy called a few minutes ago to the police saying he saw blood in the road and that leads to the car"

Flynn, Provenza and the Captain arrived to the crime scene, there was indeed a dead body in the truck of the car, a woman, her name Lucia Martinez 30 years old with nice clothes and the same wounds as the other victims and in the pocket of her jacket was a paper *lost and never found* that's all it said, nothing more. What did that mean? Probably the Captain was really lost in this case and all she could think now was that the killer was going to another state of the country, out of her hands and she didn't have anything, not one clue of whom might this person be. A call in her phone made her come back from her thoughts "Captain Raydor" she answered without looking who was calling

"Captain we went to the houses of Jack and Leo they both have alibies we already checked them but we can't find a guy named Mark the other person that got fired, their neighbors said that they hadn't seen him for a couple of days"

"Thank you Detective, please keep looking for him" she hung up "that was Detective Sykes, they can't find one of the persons who got fired" she said to the two Lieutenants that were talking

"There is something that doesn't fit here" Provenza said "all indicates that is something personal, I can't relate this with Stroh, maybe is a pattern and the person saw in the news and wants to make us thinks that is him, but I see this too personal and this person that Sykes and Julio can't find, maybe he is the one who did it-"

"I agree with you Lieutenant but why the notes that the killer left, what do they mean? And this poor woman—"she tried to said something but the words wouldn't come out of her now dry mouth

"The killer is now heading to who knows where, we need to know where and why" Flynn said interrupting whatever thoughts she had

They were back to the station, but who would they look? They didn't even know if the suspect was a woman or a man, they needed more leads.

All of them were busy pursuing any lead, when Dr. Morales entered the room and made it to the whiteboard placing pics of the wounds and a knife, "so here is my theory" he begin saying "this is the knife that the killer used and yes is a woman because the wounds in the man" he said pointing to a picture "are from behind, she isn't strong enough to grab him and stab him in the chest but she is strong enough to do it with the wife and the girl, besides the wounds indicate that the force used wasn't that deep" he said doing a curtsey of thank you "now the victim you found in the truck, was attacked in the middle of the road so your killer couldn't waist time so she stab her in the lung so that's what killed her, she drowned in her own blood, I couldn't find fingerprints in the clothes, so probably she is using gloves"

"Thank you doctor that helps a lot" the Captain said, finally after so many hours they had something, but who was this woman, why did she attacked this family, was she related somehow with the family? Did she work in the company?

It was night already, they were all collecting any piece of information that leads them to this woman, Julio and Sykes had already found Mark and he was now in the station, to be now interrogate. With all things consider, they didn't have much, this woman was good at what she was doing she didn't leave anything behind her, they had to find her before anyone else got killed.

Mark hadn't been that helpful he was drunk and all he could said was that he didn't do nothing. It was very late and Chief Taylor sent them all home because they weren't getting any results, he had said "come back with clear minds" but he also had to say with his demanding voice "find this woman as soon as possible, I don't want more deaths".

This case was definitely hard enough.


	2. Case solved

The next morning, she arrived to work earlier than usual, Buzz and Provenza were the only ones that got to the station that day at the same time as she did, she entered room #1 with Provenza and they started questioning Mark.

"I already told the other detectives that I didn't do anything!"

"The problem here Sr. is that we couldn't confirm your alibi so I need you to start telling the truth"

"Am I under arrest? Because if I'm not, you guys need to let me go, I know my rights…"

"You are been detain because last night we couldn't talk with you Sr. you were unstable, so I need you to focus and answer my questions, where were you a day ago between 12am and 4am?"

"I was in a bar ok, I lost my job recently and my family too and I couldn't take that anymore-"

"Don't say another word" a voice said while opening the door, Sharon and Provenza turned around and there was a man wearing a blue suit and a briefcase in his hand.

"Excuse me, who are you?" Sharon asked the man who was heading to sit next to Mark

"My name is Peter and I'm his lawyer, if you wonder who hired me, his wife that's all you need to know, now if you'll excuse me I need time with my client and if you don't have evidence to arrest him, I think he's good to go"

"Oh he can go yes but as soon as we check that your client was at that bar and then he can go, but it might take a while, you know how long this things take so make yourself comfortable" Provenza said heading outside with Sharon

"Found something" Tao called out to Sharon

"What is it Lieutenant?"

"On the list of employees there was this woman who got fired about 2 years ago, I didn't look more into it before because it doesn't say why and it was more than a year ago that this happened but I just found that she took them to court, she sue the company for a lot of money, about $500,000" he said "and she didn't win the lawsuit, she claimed that she was fired for being pregnant but the judge dismissed the case anyway, there must be something behind all that"

"Ok wait a second" Provenza said standing up from his desk "If she was fired and was pregnant, doesn't the little boy fit here?"

"What do you mean Lieutenant?"

"I mean that is always the husband fault, maybe they fired her because she got pregnant with his child and she didn't win the lawsuit because well rich people always win cases"

The whiteboard now had a picture of the now considered suspect, they had eventually found out that she got pregnant and the family had took away her son, but where she was heading? And why they took away her son?

Chief Taylor entered the room and called Sharon to her office. "Captain, how are we going with the case? I need to know that you have a suspect because this investigation can't take any longer, I have people all over me"

"Well, we have a suspect, right now we are going over her house to look for anything that indicate us where is she heading-"

"So you have a suspect? We need to release the photograph of this woman immediately to the press Captain"

"No, no, no, no you can't do that, please give me a few hours before doing that, if you give the press the photo of the killer you'll be only giving the woman heads up and a chance to keep escaping"

"A few hours Captain and then I'm giving that photo to the press" He said with a demanding voice, like always

She exit her office "ok we need to work faster, Chief Taylor wants to release to the media the photo of the killer"

"He can't do that!" Provenza said angry

"I know Lieutenant, but he insisted that it was the best thing to do so people know she is out there and when someone sees her to call the police, so I talked him out of it for a few hours, I need you to go with Detective Sanchez and Sykes to her house and look for something, anything that gives us a hint to where she's heading"

They arrived to the apartment of Elisa, the suspect "L.A PD open up?" nobody answered so they entered and started searching all over the place.

"This woman was planning this for over a month" said Julio entering in a room full of pictures and maps and cameras.

Her cellphone rang, it was Sykes calling her "What did you find Detective?"

"Captain we found a room full of pictures of the boy and the family, it seems that she was following their every move for over a month, she was planning this and we also found some tickets in the garbage of many stores, most of them from baby clothes and one of the tickets has a knife listed, gloves and other stuffs, is definitely her" she paused "wait, here are some pictures, looks like she has a sister and a brother"

"Thank you Detective I'll ask Lieutenant Tao to look more into it, please keep looking and call me if something else comes up" she hang up the phone and went to Tao's desk and they search for the suspect's family.

An hour later a man showed up yelling "where is my sister? Where is she?"

"Who are you?" she asked the man

"I'm Gabriel, Elisa's brother, a police officer brought me here I need to know what's going on!" he said very agitated

"Sr. why don't you try to calm down and come here with me" she said showing him the way to the conference room "Do you want water or something to drink?"

"Water please!?"

"Of course" she gave Buzz a sign asking him for water and entered the conference room. "Ok Gabriel, do you know where your sister might be?"

"No, I have no idea, I haven't seen her in the past month"

"Do you notice something strange the last time you saw her?"

"Not really-" he paused drinking some water "well after she lost her job, she changed a lot and well she was very depressed and even intended once to commit suicide" a tear came out of his eye

"I know this might be hard, but your sister is not thinking things through and we need to find her soon, before anyone gets hurt" She couldn't tell him anything about the dead family, as far as it concern her he could had helped her in any way so she couldn't tell him anything related to the case.

"For God's sake! You people are unbelievable, my sister was fired because she got pregnant with the boss baby and later they took away her child, she lost everything, where is she? Have you found her yet?" he stood up an yell

Sharon stood as well "Sit down Sr. and stop yelling please, you won't get anything by yelling" he did as he was told and Sharon left the conference room, leaving an officer to keep an eye on him. She realized he didn't know about where his sister was.

Tao approached to her "The sister is here, she's in room #1 Captain"

"Thank you"

She entered the room and saw a well dress redhead siting "I'm sorry to keep you waiting Linda" she said while sitting across her

"Why am I here?"

"Do you know where your sister is?"

"No I have no idea" she lower her eyes "What's going on?"

"Well you could start by telling us if you noticed something different in your sister's behavior since-"

"Since she got fired?"

"Yes"

"Well she was depressed most of the time and even tried to kill herself" she paused "they took away everything, her baby"

The door of the room opened, it was Tao "Captain" he said making a sign with the head for her to go outside.

"Excuse me Linda, I'll be right back"

She headed outside "What is it?"

"Julio just called, they found many phone calls from the phone in Elisa's house and some emails too between her and Linda in the past week and the last call was 3 days ago, Linda must know where she is"

Both entered the room and sat down, Sharon began to speak "You have several phone calls from your sister in the past month, especially 3 days ago, care to explain that?"

"I ah-I…She's my sister, we talk a lot"

"I have a sister too and I don't talk that much with her and we are very close" she then turn to Tao and said "Don't you find this interesting Lieutenant!?"

And before he could say anything she talked "I think I want a lawyer"

Great, the only person that could tell them where the suspect was, wanted a lawyer, this day was only getting better she exit the room and found that Provenza and the others were back. "So do we know where she is?"

"No, I'm sorry ma'am" Julio was the one who answered

They didn't have any choice than release the photo of the woman to the press, Sharon didn't want to show the photo but it wasn't her decision anyway, it was Chief Taylor's because of course politics was his thing and he even said "people need to know that there's a woman killing people to have her son back". She never understands Chief Taylor's decisions, most of the time she disagree with him, but no matter what there were rules to follow and over the years she had become more flexible but she still has that part inside her of doing things right and by the law.

She entered room #1 this time with Julio, they sat across Linda and her lawyer.

"Well, here is the thing Linda" she began "Your sister is missing and running away from the police" she paused and Julio put a portfolio in the table, he opened it and Sharon took the photos in it "there are 4 people dead" she put the photos in front of Linda "and your sister killed them, now you are holding back information to the police, so you better start talking or face the consequences of being charged with murder"

"MURDER!?" Linda yelled and a tear appeared on her eye "I didn't do anything"

"And consider that we don't have much time to wait for you to tell us any information you know about your sister"

"I didn't do anything!" she exclaim once more

"Fine, if you won't tell us anything I think we better go" Julio stand and so did she to head outside, the lawyer was saying something to her ear and she nodded

"Wait" the lawyer said

They turned around smiling to themselves "yes?"

"She will tell you everything she knows, but I need you to assure her that you won't be presenting any charges"

"We can't do that, after all we have proof that she helped her sister"

"Not after you hear this, she will talk hypothetically"

"Ok, start talking" they sat down

"Elisa's boss was harassing her, she needed the job because it took her long to find it and he even told her that if she ever talked about it he would fire her and he would make sure she didn't find another job" she made a pause before continuing "she then got pregnant and we all were worried, my parents got mad because well she is not married or has a couple, we asked her several times who the father was and she didn't want to say a word, until one day I pressured her and she told me, I was horrified and worried for her, so I told my husband and he found her a lawyer and I convinced her to sue the company and all went wrong, he stayed with the baby and denied anything, I'm sure you know the rest of what happened, 4 months ago she tried to kill herself" she paused, took a deep breath and continued "I swear to you that I didn't know what she was doing, I visited her more often than usual to make sure she was fine and a month ago she asked me to stop going over her place, that she was fine, so I believed her but couldn't help to call her now and then. I really didn't know what she was doing, until 3 days ago I received a call from her telling me that she was going away and I asked her why and where she was going and all she said was that she would call me later to tell me where she was and she did, she sent me an message saying *I'm going to our place in Santa Barbara* and that's all I know"

Julio and Sykes went to the address Linda gave them and they found the suspect there and brought her back to the station where she gave her statement.

Sharon was glad that this case didn't take them another day and was relieved that it wasn't Stroh, but she wasn't going to be truly fine until they put him in prison again, she wouldn't sleep well until he was behind bars. But first, she needed a drink.


	3. The bar

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry if there are any misspells

She needed a drink, a distraction so after closing the case she sent everyone home and she headed to a bar for a glass of the best wine they serve there. She was wearing a beautiful silk blue blouse and long black pants, fancy as ever, she of course was wearing high black heels and as she entered the bar, she was the attention of everybody, it wasn't crowded but she had to go through a group of people so she could seat, a few seconds later the bartender came asking what she wanted to drink to what she answer "the most expensive and exquisite wine you have please" "right away". She felt the eyes of so many people looking at her, it had being long since she went to a bar alone and all the men and even women looked at her with desire, she grabbed her hair and made a messy bun making her look even sexier. Her drink arrived and she thanked the bartender, savoring the very good wine it was a Spanish one of course she knew when a wine was good or not, her father had taught her everything she needed to know about good wine, whiskey and cuisine, she isn't the type of woman who drinks beer and eats junk food, with Rusty is been hard to keep her good tastes lately because the boy always wants to eat pizza, burgers and that kind of food that she never ate as a kid.

Tonight was about her, she needed this time alone she loves Rusty of course but she didn't have much time to herself, she tried to relax while drinking the wine when someone sat next to her, dark hair glowing blue eyes and young "can I buy you a drink?" his voice was low.

"Thank you but I just came here for one drink and enjoy it alone" she said smiling grabbing her glass of wine and brought it to her lips.

"How is it that a woman like you is all alone in a bar?" he said playfully, something she found challenging and well a little scary because he was indeed younger than she.

"A woman like me?" she asked following whatever game he was playing

"I mean a beautiful woman, dress to kill and well I must say this-" he looked at her to say what he wanted but was afraid she would took it the wrong way "sexy" he lean over to say that on her ear.

Her head fall back while she laughed "Well thank you" she blushed and felt a heat all over her body from head to toe.

"You have a beautiful laugh too, another drink?" he asked

"OK, just one" she managed to smile

Her second drink arrived and the talking was nice, he was funny and charming and she was having a good time. She learn that his name was David, a business man, in his late 40s. They were laughing and suddenly she saw a certain blonde standing with a group of people she instantly stop laughing and look at her, it couldn't be her maybe she had too much to drink and her hopes of seeing the woman again after she said goodbye in A LETTER, no it couldn't be her, she had like disappeared from the earth she hadn't stay in touch as she promise to her team and Sharon could only feel pain and sadness, many days she thought she would see the woman again, but they weren't exactly friends so why she would stayed in touch, god this was painful but she felt something else as the woman turn around and she confirm it, it was her, Brenda Leigh Johnson, the woman who gave her headaches when they first met but at the end had admire for her wonderful work and determination.

She looked away "are you alright? You look pale, like you just saw a ghost!?" David said trying to bringing her back to the conversation, he had asked her if she wanted another drink but it seems she was more interested in whatever happened in a group of people in the other side of the bar.

"What did you say? Sorry I was distracted" half smile in her face and apologetic tone in her voice.

"I was saying if you wanted another drink or wanted to get out of here, to my place?" he said smiling "and it looks like you saw a ghost"

"Believe me it was worse than a ghost" she said half laughing "and yes I need another drink, make it whiskey, no ice, no water, just strong enough" she needed that drink more than she needed anything at the moment, but she also felt the urge to run away from that place and not turn back and not say hi to her, after all Brenda was the one saying goodbye and not even a thank you for saving my career or I was stupid enough to promise to see the team again and didn't keep my promise, who she was kidding? She wanted the woman to at least keep in touch and she even had hopes to become closer to her, but she was too afraid the younger women didn't want anything with her, so she never said anything. Her drink arrived and she drink it as fast as she could, a shot, it hit hard although she was used to that but she also felt a familiar heat all over her body, a heat she felt every time she saw Brenda all over her body and her knees felt weak, she didn't like to admit that she felt something for the other woman.

"I'm sorry" she said looking to the nice man seated beside her "I loved your company, but I have to go" she lean and kissed him on the cheek *I never do that* she thought anyway she then stand, that whiskey had hit her hard, but she didn't care she needed to run away from that place.

She was making her way through the people when she felt a hand grabbing her arm, she thought that it was David but she became familiar with the touch, it was delicate but still pulling her strong enough, it had to be a woman. "Sharon!?" she heard that southern voice, she turn around and there she was, blonde beautiful and of course all floral and pink *hideous outfit* she thought. "Yes?" that's all she could say, her voice was weak and low.

"How are you?" the blonde said smiling, she had missed Sharon, she had missed her voice, correct that, her commanding voice and the *I must go first line* in her new job she didn't have someone who challenge her the way Sharon did and no one whom she trust with the way she did with the Captain, but what she missed the most was seeing those long legs and fancy suits that made her curves perfect and tonight oh well tonight she looked sexier than ever. She wish she had kept in touch with her but it was too painful for her, Sharon seemed so unapproachable that she never felt like telling her the way she felt about her, she wanted to be friends with her but most of the time she desire her and wanted them to be more than friends.

"I'm good thank you" Sharon answered looking at the hand still holding her arm "Chief can you please let go my arm?"

"Oh I'm sorry" she smile like a fool and let go her arm "and you can call me Brenda"

"And why would I wanna do that?" she said with a sarcastic tone

"Because we don't work together anymore"

"Well it was good seeing you, I have to go now" she said not even looking at Brenda but looking more at the door that seemed so far away right now.

"Please stay, have a drink with me Captain, we haven't seen each other in far too long"

"I can't Chief, I mean Brenda" a pause "I'm really tired had a long day and I should get home" she make a move to the door.

"Oh come on" Brenda said grabbing her arm again and dragging her to the bar "two glasses of wine please" she asked to the bartender. Looked like both needed a drink to be able to talk like civils, correct that, like 'friends'.

"So how have you been? How's the team? I heard you guys caught a rough case in the past days" Brenda tried to be polite

"What do you want Brenda?" she looked more serious now.

"I haven't see you in years, I can't be a little interested and ask 'how are you?'" she didn't know what to say truth to be told. It was true they hadn't seen each other in a long time and mostly it was her fault, she felt hurt and wanted to move on from Major Crimes, she really hoped to visit her team but she was caught up in work and didn't really make time for herself or her friends, she missed them all specially Sharon and now seeing her changed everything, or maybe not.

"Fine, I'll take that glass of wine and then I'm leaving" Sharon said smiling, which made Brenda smile too

They sat down and their knees brushed, Brenda felt her cheeks going pink and also did Sharon, drinks arrived and David of course hadn't left the bar either and that made Sharon a little distracted, he approached and lean over "so you didn't leave?"

"Oh, no, I-" she didn't know what to say, it was really awkward she felt uncomfortable with the whole situation "I was on my way out when I saw her" pointing at Brenda "a friend I hadn't seen in a long time". They weren't exactly friends, Sharon knew that but what was she supposed to say *she was a colleague, whom I feel attracted to?* that was ridiculous, she laughed at the irony.

Brenda felt even more uncomfortable, she was jealous of the man standing next to Sharon, he was handsome and even if he looked younger than her, Sharon was into him, she wanted to lean in and kiss Sharon or do anything to scare him off so she could talk with her but now he had his hand in Sharon's back and she didn't seem to mind "well I think I better go" Brenda said "I ahh-I see you later Sharon" she stand up; she knew for sure that she wouldn't see her later, she was too afraid to even pick up the phone and call her and ask her to go out with her for a coffee or drinks as friends of course.

"No don't go, we haven't even talk" Sharon said standing and now she was the one grabbing Brenda's arm and the one interested to chat, she had liked David and a part of her wanted to go with him and forget about Brenda but having her that close she couldn't just let her go.

"Look Captain" Brenda began to talk, "I see you have company and well I'm with some people from work so is not like I'm all alone so why don't we meet another day?" she paused "let's say, hmm a coffee?" she said with a half fake smile.

Sharon sigh "ok if that's what you want", she grabbed her napkin wrote her phone number and handed it to Brenda smiling, they just nodded to each other and Sharon just stood there watching Brenda made her way to a group of people, she wanted to hug her before she left but that would had only made the situation more awkward, she turn around and smile to David and sat down to drink the rest of the wine and then she was definitely heading home, she talked for one more hour with him but found herself turning every now and then to see Brenda whom looked at her as well, it was getting late and she saw Brenda going to the restroom, her glass of wine was over now and as she promised to herself that it was going to be the last one, she thanked David and at first she thought going to his apartment as he had suggested a few minutes ago but what was the point anyway? She just gave him her number and kissed him on the cheek before heading outside, but first, she had to go to the restroom, she smile to herself while walking there, every step was heavy and her heart was beating faster as she approached. She entered and found Brenda on one of the sinks with her hands in her head. She approached to her, maybe she had a little too much to drink but she wasn't going to blame that to alcohol, she knew she couldn't use it for an excuse, Brenda opened her eyes as she felt someone close to her, she looked in the mirror and there she was, Sharon. She lean in closer to Brenda's ear and whisper "it was really nice seeing you, I hope you actually call me to go for that coffee" Brenda melt while she said those words, her whole body heat up and she felt weak, she didn't say a word, she couldn't, she could only close her eyes and when she opened them again Sharon wasn't behind her anymore, but her scent of expensive perfume was still in the air *Oh that woman*.

Yes, Sharon had left the bar as soon as she could, she couldn't stand anymore been around Brenda, but she was definitely looking forward to that coffee.

She arrived home and took a glass of water and took the bottle of aspirins and headed to her room, it was late so she didn't see Rusty he was probably asleep already. She put the glass of water and the bottle of aspirins in the table next to her bed she knew that tomorrow she'll get a terrible headache, she took a deep breath and get rid of her clothes and got into bed putting the covers over her body it was a quiet night and she was so tired, she fell asleep as soon as she turn off the light next to her bed.

/

Brenda left the restroom after that little moment with Sharon and made her way to the group of people she was with.

"I'm gonna head home" she said grabbing her purse and sweater.

She said her goodbyes and called a cap, she thanked she didn't came to the bar in her car because she knew she couldn't drive, on her way home she looked at the city, the lights LA was so different at night and so different from Atlanta. LA had become a special place for her she couldn't call it home though, she couldn't call any place home because she had lived in many cities and had never found a place where she felt at home, tonight more than ever she felt she didn't belong to any place, a tear came out as she looked at the people around the city, couples, friends, everyone seemed so happy. She was thankful about having a job, but that job wasn't what she really loved, she loved being outside, haunting killers down, playing undercover, not seating behind a desk and having meetings with politics, that was never her thing *what an irony, live can turn things upside down and you find yourself in a place where you least expect it* she laughed at that. She was considering moving back to D.C after all, she needed a changed and many offers had come to her and she had rejected all of them, things with her husband weren't so well, she finally got time for him but she felt trapped in her house on the weekends or any day when she didn't have work to do and then there was Sharon, that woman had changed her life, Brenda trusted her and after all that had happened Sharon was there for her, supported her and even believed in her when no one else did. After seeing Sharon tonight all her feelings returned again, that woman took her breath away, that woman make her feel things she couldn't possibly name. She arrived home, pay the cab and opened the door to her house, Fritz was already asleep so that was better she thought, he wouldn't be asking questions. Her thoughts didn't let her sleep that easily but after half an hour of struggle her eyes closed up.


	4. Coffee date

She woke up at 11am, with a headache, last night she had a little too much to drink, but she slept like a baby, she took the glass of water and aspirin and drank it, then she headed to the kitchen and she started the coffee machine, minutes later she went to the bathroom to take a shower. As the hot water ran all over her body she started remembering what happened last night at the bar and as the memory of a certain blonde came to her mind, her breath was heavier and her heart beats were faster, she senses a heat all over her naked body and it wasn't the water, she lean and brought the shampoo to her hands, she washed her hair two times and then brought the soap to her body, to every inch of it, she remembered how the blonde had grabbed her arm and her name pronounced in that accent was both annoying and sexy, the attraction she felt for Brenda was inevitable and seeing the woman last night made her forget about everything. While she lead the soap all over her body she thought of Brenda's hand doing it, her body trembled and felt weak. The heat increase when she touches her breasts she lets her head fall back and a little moan goes out of her mouth, she then realizes what she's doing and stops, she lets the water wash all her body and steps out of the shower, she enters her room and opens the closet, today she was going to wear casual clothes, it was weekend and she wanted to relax maybe go for lunch with Rusty, she found some jeans she hasn't wore in long time, she throws it to the bed and starts looking what blouse she could use, she finds a white one, with no cleavage *that would do just fine* she thought to herself, she got ready and head to the kitchen for a cup of coffee.

Minutes later Rusty joined her. "Morning" she said smiling

"Hey, how did the case go? Did you catch the killer?"

"Yes, matter of fact we did, turns out she wanted to recover her baby"

"Wow, a woman did all that just to get her baby?"

"Well it was far too complicated, anyway what are we doing today?"

"I'm going out with TJ, he's helping me a lot with Alice's case"

"Hmm, I was thinking we could go out for launch, do something different, but that's ok"

"Oh, we could go to dinner though!?"

"No is ok, I can do something else" she fake a smile and sat on the living room and started thinking what to do on this free Saturday, if you could say free because she could receive a call at any time about a case.

/

In another place, a certain blonde was having breakfast, Fritz had left early in the morning for a case or that's what she thought he was going to do, what she didn't know is that he had a Dr. appointment that he couldn't miss. Her cellphone was in front of her, she was convincing herself that she wouldn't call Sharon, that it was better that way but she really wanted to see the other woman, she grabbed her phone and dial the number, it rang 3 times and she hang *she couldn't do this, what would she say to the other woman? And how? No, she couldn't* she grabbed her glass of juice and drank slowly, letting the liquid wet her now dry mouth a throat, she took a deep breath and dialed the number once more, it rang a few times and the brunette wasn't answering so she just hang, she would call after taking a bath or not at all, but her cellphone rang "Hello?" her voice was clear.

"Did you call a minute ago Brenda?" she sound happy and she certainly had recognize the blonde's voice with only a hello

"Yeah, I ah-I'm sorry I guess I dialed the wrong number" her voice was now weak and nervous

"Ok then, bye"

"No, no, no wait"

"What?"

"I did call, I just-I'm sorry, I wanted to ask you if you would like to go for a cup of coffee?"

"Okay, where?"

"There's a Café named *Sweet's n' Treat's* is not far, I'll text you the address, at what time is good for you?"

"1:00pm is fine?"

"Yes, so I'll see you there, bye"

"Bye"

Brenda hang the phone and texted the address, she made her way to the kitchen to leave the plates on the sink, they could wait, she had to shower and get ready first, she was so nervous, Sharon made her always so nervous.

/

Sharon arrived first, of course she is a very punctual woman, the café was nice she thanked that she decided to change that t-shirt she was wearing for a nice white blouse, she sat close to the windows that were next to the entrance so Brenda could see her, she ordered a glass of water while waiting, she felt like a high school girl in her first date *so silly* she thought. Her heart stopped when she saw the blonde entering the café it was a vision, Brenda was wearing a nice dress all floral of course but it was different from the other hideous dresses and skirts she wore, this one highlighted up her eyes and hair and it fit perfectly, it was a dream, she wave and Brenda wave back smiling, every step towards the table was killing her.

"Hi" Brenda said smiling like a fool and sitting across her.

"Hi back" she said, feeling like a fool

"Can I drink from your glass? I'm very thirsty" and before Sharon could object or tell her that she could call the waitress to ask for a glass of water, Brenda was drinking already, the waitress came anyway and they ordered a cappuccino for Brenda and Chai tea for Sharon.

When the waitress was gone there were minutes of silence, neither of them knew what to say "So…How's it going?" Sharon broke the silence

"Great, I miss Major Crimes but is great, the new job is very interesting. How about you?"

"At first it was difficult, but the team has accept me and we work just fine" she brought the glass of water to her lips and drank "what are we doing here Brenda?"

"We are having coffee and trying to have a conversation" she smiled and without realizing she was drinking again from Sharon's glass and well Sharon didn't seem to mind

"I mean seriously, what are we doing here? We don't have things in common, we never got along, we were never friends, and we certainly don't know each other"

She was right, they weren't exactly friends, they knew so little about each other, but Sharon knew more about Brenda after all she helped her with the lawsuit and she knew her parents and her husband, she also knew that Brenda had an affair with Will but that was all and Brenda didn't know anything about her.

"I just- so? What if we don't know each other? I don't see that as a problem, do you?"

"No but-"

"No buts Sharon, I want to know more about you, when I saw you last night in that bar I told myself *how stupid I was back then* because you were nice, well not nice but you helped me a lot and I didn't thank you enough and well I want us to be friends, I mean maybe we can accomplish that now that we don't work together and don't have to be in the way of one and other."

She was caught out of guard, Sharon wasn't expecting that, while Brenda was talking, she couldn't help but observe her, outside work that woman was another person, kind and well open, they looked at each other for a couple of minutes until the waitress arrived and interrupted whatever was happening between the two women.

"Ok Brenda" she said smiling

"Tell me something about yourself, like why did you decide to be a cop?"

"Well I joined the police force to help my then husband to go to law school" she saw that Brenda was all confuse "yeah is all very weird I know. But everything changed when I got pregnant, we had two kids and things weren't good so we separate and I decided to stay in the police force and Jack moved on with his life. I mean I didn't always want to be a police officer but as more involved I became I started to love it and here I am" she sighed, she had never opened to someone about her past but with Brenda it was different, she felt comfortable but still she had to keep some things to herself. "What about you? Did you always wanted to be a cop?"

"Yeah I think I did, well my dad was an officer in the U.S. Air Force, so I guess it runs in the family" Brenda said smiling "You said you have kids!?"

"Yes, I have 3, Richard and Emily that are mine from my marriage with Jack and I adopted Rusty less than a year ago"

"Oh yeah I heard that you helped Rusty, I'm glad he found you, he needed someone like you. How is he?

"He is fine, he is a very passionate impulsive boy, right now he's investigating a jane doe, he wants to give her identity back and he created this website, he finished school and we are looking universities at the moment" She said like a proud mama

"I'm glad to hear he's doing so well"

The conversation went on for two hours, they hadn't notice that it had gone that long, they shared laughs and even one time Brenda grabbed her hand, they talked about their works, Brenda apologize way to much about not staying in touch and Sharon told her that it wasn't her fault alone, that she also should had contacted her sooner. Excuses, they both had too many excuses to avoid seeing each other, they both were fighting against feelings and well Brenda being a married woman and Sharon couldn't possibly break up a marriage. It was hard for both of them, four years without seeing each other, denying every feeling.

They headed to the parking lot, Brenda was surprised to see Sharon in jeans "Wow you look normal and beautiful wearing those"

Sharon blushed "thank you, is Saturday so I wear this"

They both laugh and that's when Sharon couldn't explain herself or Brenda what she did then, she approached to the younger woman and kissed her on the cheek "hope to see you soon" and headed to her car, Brenda just stood there without moving "wait Sharon" she stopped walking but couldn't turn around and face Brenda, "Yes?" her voice wasn't steady, she heard footsteps approaching to her making her nervous and weak, Brenda stood behind her "Sharon, please turn around?"

"Why?"

"Just please do it?"

And she did turn but couldn't look her in the eyes, Brenda was so closed to her, she could feel her breathe and perfume.

"What are you doing tomorrow night?" the younger woman asked

"Nothing, why?" her voice trembling and she couldn't possibly look at Brenda in the eyes

"Sharon?"

"Hmm?"

"Please look at me?" she put her hand in Sharon's chin and made her look up "give me your eyes Sharon" she did as she was told "Would you like to go to dinner tomorrow?"

"I don't think that's a good idea Brenda"

"Why not? Come on it will be fun" Brenda's hand was now on her cheek now, Sharon blushed inevitable.

"Please don't do that" she said moving Brenda's hand away from her face

"Sorry, I didn't mean to do that, I tempt to do things like that when I'm nervous" she said laughing

"I make you nervous?" Sharon said playfully

"Well yes, you sure do"

"Why is that Brenda?"

"I ah-" she didn't know what to say so she changed the subject "dinner tomorrow?"

"Hmm, ok dinner tomorrow" Sharon said with a smile, she truly felt nervous but excited about that dinner.

"Great, we talk later about the details?"

"Sure"

It was Brenda's time to play like Sharon had minutes ago so she closed the little space between them and kissed Sharon close to her mouth and murmured a bye, Sharon was shocked she saw the woman walk away to her car and she did too, she got into the driver seat, breathed deeply several times and drove back home.

She couldn't possibly fight against her feelings any longer.


	5. Date night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry if there are any misspellings :) enjoy

They spent all Saturday sending each other texts, it was ironic because Brenda only texted when it was needed because she preferred calling people and she didn't know much about texting and Sharon texted with her children but not that much, she was more into technology than Brenda though. She felt like a fool school girl in love, texting to her crush about her day and how much she enjoyed seeing the blonde earlier for a coffee, she was tired of typing so she told Brenda to call her instead, Brenda said she would later that night.

It was 11pm already and Brenda hadn't call, she decided to go to sleep, maybe she had forgotten or had something better to do anyway she went to bed, she wanted to keep enjoying the time without a case and maybe be able to catch some sleep.

Her cellphone was ringing, she heard it but she was so sleepy to possibly answer it, maybe if she just ignore it the sound of it would go away but she couldn't, it could be a call from work. She grabs the phone that was in her nightstand and answers "Raydor" her voice was sleepy

"Oh god I woke you, I'm so sorry"

It was Brenda calling, she groan and turn on the light next to her to look at the time, it was 1am "Brenda? Do you know what time it is?" She said angry

"I know is late and I'm sorry, I shouldn't have call, I just wanted to hear your voice" an apologetic tone was in her voice "I just couldn't call before" she was whispering.

"What do you want Brenda?" her voice still very sleepy

"I said I just wanted to hear your voice" she giggle

"Oh God Brenda I'm hanging up, I'm really tired" she turn off the light

"No please Sharon don't hang up" she said feeling stupid for wanting to talk to Sharon so badly

This woman was going to make her lose her mind one day "What is it?"

"How was your night?"

"Seriously Brenda?" the other woman didn't say anything "Ok, fine" sighs "my night was ok, I just watched a movie and had dinner at home, how about you?"

"We went to have dinner" that we, Sharon knew what that meant, she was so silly, Brenda is married and there's nothing she can do about it, how is it that of all people she had to felt attracted by her, she just stayed quiet after those words hit her.

"Sharon are you still there?" Brenda asked worried, maybe she shouldn't had said that, but she just keeps forgetting that she is married, that she is not Sharon's friend, the type of friend that you tell about how wonderful your life is or how apart you are growing for the past months with your husband, no Sharon wasn't someone Brenda could talk to about that because she felt something more than friendship and talking about being married would hurt them both.

She took a deep breath "yeah I'm still here"

"So are we still on for dinner?" she tried to talk about something else

"Sure, where do you suggest we go?" Sharon´s voice was now very much awake

"I think I know the right place, I'll send you the address!?" Brenda said with an enthusiastic tone in her voice.

"Great, I'll go back to sleep now Brenda and you should too, see you tomorrow" she needed to sleep maybe tomorrow things would look better.

"Ok, goodnight Sharon"

"Goodnight Brenda" she hang the phone and went back to sleep.

/

The afternoon had arrived and she was feeling pretty nervous, she had agreed with Brenda to see her at an Italian restaurant at 8:00pm, she really didn't know what to wear she had decided to wear a dress but nothing too much elegant or serious, so now her bed was a mess full of dresses and blouses she really had no idea what to wear she wanted to look sexy but not to look like *I'm attracted to you so I dress to call your attention*, she wanted to look simple; this wasn't exactly a date but yet it felt like it. There was a knock on her door that interrupt her ritual of selecting clothes.

"Hey Sharon?" it was Rusty

"Come on in"

Rusty entered the room and was surprised to see the mess Sharon had "What is this? Are you giving away clothes or picking up one dress?" he said laughing, he couldn't help himself.

"Haha, that's funny, what is it?" she said turning to her closet again, she didn't have much time to prepare.

"Can I help you to pick one?" he said getting closer to her closet "Who are you going out with?"

Should she tell him it was Brenda or just keep it as she had told him in the morning *a friend I hadn't seeing in a long time* but that wasn't being very convincing since he was asking again "I told you that is a friend that-"

"You hadn't seeing in long time" he said rolling his eyes, "yes you already told me that, if you don't wanna tell me that's ok Sharon" he grabbed a blue dark dress "what about this one?"

"That one it is, thanks" she grabbed the dress from his hand "so what do you want to order for dinner?"

"I think I want Chinese, I'll order it" he headed outside her room and closed the door, Sharon felt bad for not telling him the truth of who she was going out to have dinner, after all Brenda had helped him before, maybe it was better if she did tell him.

The blue dress highlighted every curve of her body made her hair look beautiful and her eyes glowing, she looked stunning, she headed to the living room where Rusty was watching TV

"Rusty?"

"Yes?"

"I'm going to see Brenda tonight" she sat in the sofa

"Brenda hah? Why? How did you- I thought you two didn't get along well when she used to work at Major Crimes" he said surprised

"Well we saw each other Friday night and we agreed on having dinner, after all we don't work together maybe that was the reason we didn't get along and we have more things in common than we thought"

"OK, say hi from me and tell her that I hope to see her soon now that you two are friends"

"I will, ok I'm leaving now" she got up and grabbed her purse and keys "I won't be late, call me if you need anything" she was always protective with him, she has always being with her kids.

"Yes Sharon, go, I'll be fine" he said from the couch

"Ok, bye" and with that, she was gone.

On her way to the restaurant, she felt enthusiastic but also worried what would it mean this dinner and she felt nervous too, was she doing the right thing? No, of course she wasn't but it felt right anyway and she was following her heart for once, it had being long since she felt this way about someone and specially a woman, she once had a relationship with a woman, a year after her breakup with Jack and once again got hurt, since then she closed up and only had relationships with men, because that breakup was worse than the one she got with her ex-husband, it had broken her heart and it had changed her when it came to relationships because in every relationship she was involved she just walked away before her heart was involved. So having Brenda around, scared the hell out of her, her heart was already involved but she wasn't going to admit it, she couldn't, what if Brenda didn't want anything more than a friendship. She had to consider many things, also the fact that she was now having dates, real dates with Andy, she liked him, he was nice with her and had brought some emotions back to her life, but for her it was more a distraction of her routine than anything else. Must of all, she needed to figure out what she wanted because she couldn't, wouldn't want to hurt Andy, she needed to stay away from Brenda or keep her in a friend zone.

As she arrived to the restaurant she spotted the blonde getting out of her car, she parked her car, took a deep breath and opened the door, the cold air hit her she grabbed her coat and purse and made her way to the door, the blonde had spotted her too and was waiting for her outside with a big smile in her face. Brenda was wearing a beautiful and simple black dress and red heals, she looked stunning and made her remember of that red dress Brenda wore once for her interview with the mayor, it had highlighted every curve of her body and made her hair perfect and her eyes glowing, this black dress was no different, it was perfect. She approached to her and found herself smiling too. The restaurant seemed very nice, a place that Sharon could get used to.

"Hi" she said with an enthusiastic tone.

"Hey" the blonde gave her a smile and opened the door "after you" making a gesture with her hand for Sharon to came into the restaurant

"Thank you"

The waiter led them to the table, it was nice and two tables closed to a woman that was playing the piano, they sat in front of each other, both feeling nervous.

"My name is Michael and I'll be attending your table tonight, would you like to order something to drink first?" the waiter was a polite young man

"I will take a glass of Merlot, thank you" Brenda smiled grabbing her menu but observing Sharon over it.

"A martini for now thank you" Sharon said

They both read the menu but now and then sharing smiles and observing what the other one is doing. Minutes later the waiter came and took their orders.

They had a nice chat while waiting for the food, sharing smiles and jokes about when they used to work together.

"This is great" Brenda said smiling and taking a sip of her favorite wine.

"It is nice" Sharon admitted "I need to tell you something Brenda" her eyes were serious and that scared Brenda a little.

"What's wrong Sharon?" she really looked worried

The waiter interrupted with their food and that made them distracted from the conversation they were having. This was an unusual dinner for Sharon because they shared the food, something that she never did but it seems that Brenda did. Sharon hadn't laughed for real in a long time and that was something that Brenda wanted to do for the other woman more often. Who knew that about of all people those two one day would sat together and have a proper conversation involving laughs and stories, it was shocking for both of them. Brenda toasted for their little encounter in the bar that Friday.

"I need something sweet" Brenda said

"You are going to eat dessert after all we ate?" Sharon shocked her head and laughed

"Well yes, I need sweets to survive"

Sharon observed while Brenda ate that little chocolate cake with a blueberry on top, it looked yummy to be honest and Brenda saw her looking and blushed.

"Here" Brenda said with the spun in her hand guiding it to Sharon's lips, Sharon frown "come on, I know you want" she said playfully and Sharon opened her mouth and tasted the cake, it felt so sweet and it wasn't because of the cake if she was honest to herself, Brenda had feed her with the same spun that she used and all her body was on fire. "Consider yourself lucky Captain, I don't share sweet things with others" she arched her eyebrow and brought another bite of cake to her mouth, now it tasted different.

Sharon took courage and also the rest of her glass of wine before saying the next not so essay words "I must admit that you make me feel nervous, I don't know what are we doing here but I can't even think of the idea of not seeing you or not talking to you" she sighed, she needed to say how she felt, it was now or never, after all it had been so long, so many years without speaking with her, she just couldn't keep fighting against her feelings, her words came so easily that she couldn't believe it "Brenda, I ah, I can't do this" Brenda looked pale now and all her attention was on Sharon, the cake didn't seem to be important anymore *what couldn't they do?*

"Sharon!?"

"I'm sorry, I just can't be your friend and I don't know how to be your friend when all I want…" she couldn't say the words, she took a deep breath and without looking at Brenda she said "when all I want is you"

Brenda just sat there without knowing how to react to those words and that made Sharon go insane, she stood up and said the inevitable "just forget about all this, I'm sorry I shouldn't had said what I did" she grabbed her coat and purse and started walking to the door.

"Sharon please don't go we need to talk" the blonde said walking behind her and the waiter behind them telling her to go back that they couldn't leave without paying, so Brenda just grabbed Sharon's arm to make her stop walking and murmured "don't you dare to move Captain!" she payed the waiter and then grabbed Sharon's hand and lead them outside, Sharon saying nothing at all. The cold night hit them both so they put on their coats and sat in a bench not saying a word, the silence wasn't helping but neither of them knew how to break it.

Minutes later Brenda spoke, finally "you can't just say something like that and walk away Sharon" she didn't say a word "what if I told you that I feel the same? That when I look at you or hear your voice it makes me nervous, that I don't know how to control my feelings since the day I met you" she laughed at that "well not since the beginning, after all you were all commanding and feeling superior than everyone, especially me and I felt threaten by you but the last year I was in Major Crimes, you were the only person I could trust and wanted to trust, you were there for me" Sharon was taken off guard, she wasn't expecting that at all but still couldn't manage to speak so Brenda continued "I thought that if I didn't see you or speak with you, it would make all these feelings go away, but I guess it didn't help. That night at the bar when I saw you I just couldn't help myself, I needed to talk with you becau-"

Brenda was interrupted by Sharon pressing her lips against her, the kiss was a sweet but desperate one, is being long time since Sharon wanted to do that just make Benda shut up with a kiss specially the moments when they fought and didn't tolerate each other, they both surrender to the moment and Brenda grabbed Sharon's hair and made her come closer to her and Sharon's hands were now on her back, moving around it. They stopped to breathe and they rested in each other forehead.

"Wow" Brenda managed to said and she could only smile.

"Wow indeed" Sharon responded. Everything was forgotten, that they were outside a restaurant, that Brenda was married, that they were supposed to be only friends. That moment felt so right, so sweet.

"You know" she began saying "I have wanted to do that since long time ago" she laughed

"Really?" Brenda said with a playful tone "What Captain? What had you wanted to do in a long time?"

Sharon didn't say it with words, she put her hand in Brenda's cheek and brought her closer kissing her again, smiling, this time Sharon passed her tongue through Brenda's lower lip begging for access and Brenda couldn't possibly fight against it, she needed her more than anything, so her mouth fell opened and tongues started a dance, this kiss was different from the first one, it was hot, wet and the best kiss they both had ever had. Sharon could taste the chocolate and wine in Brenda's mouth, it was marvelous she couldn't possibly name what she was feeling at the moment and felt really sorry when her phone started ringing, she parted from Brenda's lips, that made both of them gasp and she looked for her phone in the purse.

"Don't answer Sharon" Brenda said distracting her from searching for it and kissing her lips again.

"It's probably from Rusty or work" she said between kisses "I really have to see who is calling" she said laughing when Brenda certainly wasn't letting her answer the phone, at some point she stopped fighting against Brenda's hands that were all over her hair pushing her closer to kiss her, she gave up and kissed Brenda back, forgetting the call, her hands went inside Brenda's coat, she wanted to feel more, they were both desperate to feel each other, her hand made is way to Brenda's right breast and the kiss got even hotter, they separate for air and Brenda started kissing her jaw, chin, neck, she wanted to kiss every inch of her, her head fall back giving Brenda more access but it wasn't long before her phone started ringing again, that brought her back to reality, she pushed back a little but Brenda wouldn't let her, she could barely speak "Brenda" she called the other woman that was making it impossible to answer the phone but failed making it sound like a beg instead of a command

"Hmm?" Brenda said not looking up at Sharon knowing that she had to let her go sometime soon but instead kept kissing her neck.

"Brenda" Sharon said with a more proper tone "I need to answer the phone" Brenda let her go and sat up properly, not very content to being pushed away from feeling for the first time this woman's skin against her lips.

She grabbed her phone and she was right, it was Provenza "see?" she said showing to Brenda who was calling "Raydor" she answered trying to steady her voice.

"Captain we had a very bad situation here, two cops dead" his voice was sad

"Oh my God" she managed to said and Brenda knew that face, when you get a hard case and her smile faded, that meant Sharon had to leave. "I'm on my way Lieutenant, thank you" she hang the phone and manage to do a half smile "I have to go"

"I know" Brenda said "How bad is it?"

"Two dead cops" she said with a sad face "We talk later?" they both stood up and headed to their cars.

"Sure, go get the bad guys" Brenda said turning her head to look at Sharon and she looked back.

"I'm sorry" she managed to say with a half-smile

"Is not your fault" Brenda reassure her

They stopped walking and faced each other, they hugged and Brenda press her lips against Sharon's for a quick kiss of goodbye before parting to separate ways. Before Brenda could pull away, she grabbed her from her coat and push her closer, Sharon wasn't going to leave before she made sure Brenda got a proper goodbye kiss and thank her for stopping her minutes ago, they needed to talk, tell each other how they felt and right now Sharon wanted that kiss to be never forgotten. Brenda smiled when Sharon brought her closer and kissed her back.

On her way to the crime scene she couldn't stopped smiling, tonight will be a very sweet moment to remember, but everything was about to change and erase that big smile from her face when she got out of the car.


End file.
